i just made a freaky discovery.

have you ever had an encounter with a person whom you thought you've seen before but could never place your finger on it thinking "where have i seen him/her man?!".. but i decided to brush that thought away seeing that its really unimportant and quite unnecessary at the point of time given the situation.

so the story goes that i've been taking care of this really sick pakcik and i've somehow created a mental bond with him. don't ask me why but when i was in A side, the only ever tight bond ive had was with Pat (my English pt). this pakcik had the look of a defeated warrior. just waiting for someone to whisk him far away. but just seeing how much his family wanted him to be strong, be alive.. i prayed silently that god would not take him away so quickly and to let them have more quality time together.

to see pakcik's son & daughter ever vigilant by his bedside, whispering endless prayers into his ears, it was just a sight to behold. my mind quickly wandered off to "what if it was my dad laying there??" (ok, i know, what the bloody hell am i thinking to even entertain such thoughts?! but i cant help it cause i know my dad & his ways. smoking like a chimney pipe never caring an inch about his health). and i've never been one to handle such emotional situations well cause i'll either stone and distance myself from the pain or look on the brighter side of things (azi, salut to you who've been taking care of them onco pts, really.) im definitely not a trooper, yes?

now about the pakcik's son.. first time i met him, i was all "wow.. handsome fella.." (like mom said, since when have i not thought all guys are handsome?? good one mother) he had that intellectual look on his face you know.. and there was that constant worry line on his forehead. somehow, just somehow.. he seemed scarily familiar. the way he asked questions about his dad and especially the way he smiled. very familiar. it was as if i've known him for quite awhile but i knew that i've never ever met him before this.

then today, i decided to visit this dude's blog i havent visited in a while but have been reading religiously since last year just because (and i actually remembered an entry he wrote about his really sick father) and suddenly whambhamhellomam! i realise it was pakcik's son! my goodness! talk about small small world. no wonder he seemed uncanningly familiar.. so i gave a quick sms to ai-lin asking her if pakcik is still around. but she gave me the bad news.. he's gone, yesterday, on my day off.

i had hoped to be able to tell the dude tonight about this but i guess i'm just not fated to. i don't think im supposed to feel this sad, no? i'm just glad i got to give pakcik the best care i could afford and made him comfortable during his last days.

so to the dude, i hope he stays strong.. and semoga Allah cucuri roh arwah pakcik.

Amin.