called mum from Safeway to ask her about ingredients and from no-where i started tearing. seriously, i thought i could do the whole "raya away from home" shit, but i guess not. what i really miss about today would be waking up to Ibu's screamings, telling us to get ready to visit the first house as Nyai is at Aman Dos's place. the traditional 'minta maaf' to everyone in the family and of course, stuffing myself with glorious food and the many arrays of cookies and cakes. i miss this.

called Dad when i got back home and I started to cry again. I never had to minta maaf over the phone ever and I could hear Dad starting to well-up just from his voice but all he said was "it's ok. Ayah doakan hari-hari semoga kakak selamat selalu. Jaga diri baik-baik, lagi 2 bulan kita jumpa ok?"

and what did dear Mum say? "Ibu dah maafkan kakak dari dulu & selalu memaafkan."

as I am typing this, i am still crying over the fact that the whole first day of raya has gone and past without me being in the presence of family and relatives.

you can say it's an experience all right and I did it. thank you to my beloved Marian and Mirosha who are always there to celebrate and acknowledge these little things from home and enjoy it with me. what would i ever do without them here? i dont know.

oh, and i've been listening to raya songs on REPEAT for the past week. i miss home, i really do =(

so here's a little video of my lonely raya di rantauan dedicated to family and friends.

jikalau Nurul dah terkasar bahasa atau tersilap kata, mohon ampun sepuluh jari dan sehingga kita berjumpa pada tahun depan..

I love you and miss you all back home terribly much and i'll be home soon =)